“It’s poison. You got poison,” He hissed while smacking the side of his head.

That’s when the fast action part kicked in. Mind you, it was not elegant or completely manly, but it did turn out to be effective.

I dropped one of the test tubes.

As luck would have it, it hit the ground and shattered with a crisp, tinkling sound. I faked a gasp, opened my eyes wide and in the most panicked tone I could muster, shouted, “Holy crap! Run! Run right now!”

Unfortunately, Mr. Foil Hat, screamed like a little girl and did the duck and cover thing right there next to the truck. He may have done something else right there next to the truck too, but I didn’t wait to find out. I yelled again, “Get up, you idiot! Run! Run as fast as you can!”

I grabbed my gear and tossed it in the cab of the truck. Tinfoil guy jumped up and started running. I leapt into the bed of the truck (for effect) and across to the driver’s side, all the while yelling at the guy to keep running.

For good measure, I fired up the truck and did a little peel out in the grass. Jiffy Pop Boy was about fifty yards ahead of me at this point, moving along at a fair clip but in a manner that told me I had probably guessed right about what else he had done while curled up in a fetal position next to the rear tire, so I started driving across the park in his general direction while honking the horn and yelling out my window for him to keep running until I finally made it to the street.

Last I saw of him, he was headed down Glendale Blvd. towards downtown L.A.

When I got back to the office, the first thing I did was hunt down my boss and ask, “why did you tell me to park my truck next to the water at Echo Park?”

“Oh, so the crazy guys will think you’re a city worker fixing a broken sprinkler and leave you alone.”

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1 comment on this post.
  1. Ward W:

    Haaa… really entertaining story, great post

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